Today, a dear friend came up to me after Mass and asked, “Are you okay? You haven’t blogging in two weeks.” I answered truthfully, “No, I am not. I have had a migraine headache going on ten days. But frankly, it’s more than that I am in hormonal hell.”
As I described the headaches, the hot flashes, and the sleepless nights I have been enduring for the past ten days, I watched her nod her head in empathy. “I understand,” she said, “I am 52”. Then she went on to describe exactly how I was feeling, the sense total failure as a wife, mother, and Christian, and the irrational snapping at my husband and children.
I have been unable to exercise or spent any extended time on the computer because both aggravate the raging headache which greets me at dawn for the past week and a half. I struggle through my prayer life, and I feel I am just going through the motions. I teach my four year old her vowel sounds, pick up kids from school, help with homework, but by the end of the day, I am utterly exhausted and irritable.
I take comfort in the words of Saint Paul,
The Lord said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness. I will rather boast most gladly of my weakness, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.” (2 Cor. 12: 9-10)
On Thursday, Bumblebee started sporting her new purple eye glasses thanks to her Gram. She is able to recognize letters as we drive around town. She is much more responsive to teaching, and is now tracing her letters, a task which was impossible for her to do before.
This weekend the weather has been rainy and miserable, however the girls were busy playing with a beautiful dollhouse given to them by young lady on Friday.
Saturday, I received two gift cards from a dear friend, who told me NOT to write her a “thank you” note. So I will say:
“God bless you, and your family!”
And today at church, I received the empathy from my friend so I know I am not alone in how I feel as I go through this affliction called “The Change.”
She also told me “I miss your writing.”
Today, I needed to hear that.