“No, I can’t do it”, is a very hard sentence for me to say. When I worked in the corporate world, I felt it was a sign of weakness, a sign of a bad attitude, a sign of NOT being a team player. Because of that, I frequently took work home; I scheduled conference calls when my child was sick, and I “got the job done.” Yes, I rarely said no at work, however when it came to my family that was an entire different story.
I always said yes, no matter how difficult the task and my family paid the price. Many times, my husband picked up our girls from daycare because of a pressing assignment to work.
Please note my boss did not tell me to stay, I stayed because of my own pride.
My family always took a back seat to my job.
Fast forward eighteen months, and although I have traded in my crisp white blouse, pencil skirt, and pumps for a t-shirt, khaki skirt, and flip flops, and corporate culture for full-time motherhood, I am still putting other “things” before my family.
It’s tricky, because most of these “things” I am talking about are wonderful “things”, events at church, sports and enrichment activities for my daughters. One commitment in its self is not bad, however when loaded one on top of another, the schedule becomes overwhelming.
I have found I have a better attitude and my children are calmer and happier if we have some down time, some unstructured family time during the weekdays and on the weekend.
So, I am going to start saying no. If you are one of the people I say no to, please understand I am doing it for the sake of my family and for my own sanity.
Do you ever struggle with saying no?
I too struggle with telling people no...my children are the only ones I have mastered saying no to and they are the only ones I dont feel so guilty saying no to.
If you ever tell me no Mary...I would and will completely understand.
I cant thank you enough for all you do for me and my kids!
Posted by: Dawn | 09/29/2011 at 03:45 PM
This has always been a big struggle for me, especially as an introvert. I LOVE my friends, volunteer commitments, students, community and church events, but I also really need some unstructured downtime. As i am not married, it was often fun time with friends that was put on the back burner. I live far from family so this is the equivalent of saying no to family. Definitely unbalanced!
This year, I am really working hard at keeping my priorities and commitments in check. Doing some of everything, but not everything of everything. I have said no to a few situations I would have said yes to in the past. It is not easy, but I know I am slowly keeping the priorities in my life.
It is nice to know that others are working towards the same. You can do it, Mary! :)
Posted by: Jennifer | 09/29/2011 at 05:21 PM
Thank you for your words of encouragement, Jennifer!
Peace be with you,
Mary
Join me @ A Simple Twist of Faith
Posted by: Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith | 09/29/2011 at 06:11 PM
Good for you, Mary! We all need to make priorities.I'm still learning but getting better on it.
Posted by: Bozena | 09/29/2011 at 08:44 PM
You and me both, Bozena. This is a very hard lesson to learn especially when you stay at home.
Peace be with you,
Mary
Join me @ A Simple Twist of Faith
Posted by: Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith | 09/29/2011 at 09:15 PM
I am overwhelmed with so much right now and 99% of that comes from over-committing to things at church. *sigh*
I'll learn to say no one day, right?
Posted by: Bridget | 09/30/2011 at 12:31 AM
Learning to say no is the best gift one can give to oneself. It is a powerful word and it is very important. Good job for taking care of yourself and your family. There will always be things to do and things that want to pull you aways from what is really important. Good job.
Posted by: Sharon O | 09/30/2011 at 12:21 PM
YEs I've been trapped by myself and not said "no" when I should have.
Posted by: kyooty | 09/30/2011 at 02:32 PM
Kyooty,
I am familiar with that trapped feeling. I am still learning this SAHM gig.
Peace be with you,
Mary
Join me @ A Simple Twist of Faith
Posted by: Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith | 09/30/2011 at 06:22 PM
Thanks Sharon!
Peace be with you,
Mary
Join me @ A Simple Twist of Faith
Posted by: Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith | 09/30/2011 at 06:23 PM
99% of my overcommitments come from Church too :)
Peace be with you,
Mary
Join me @ A Simple Twist of Faith
Posted by: Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith | 09/30/2011 at 06:39 PM
Dawn,
I am the same way with my girls!
Peace be with you,
Mary
Join me @ A Simple Twist of Faith
Posted by: Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith | 10/01/2011 at 10:37 PM
Thanks for stopping over today with your birthday wishes for me. I just realized you were not coming up in my reader and for a long time. I am so sorry about that! I remember being on PTA and it seemed liked I was always the one who was called when others said no or backed away from something because I could not say no. I then started to get very good at saying no and it was a good thing. I think I was afraid no one would like me anymore but that didn't happen.
Posted by: Debby Pucci | 10/03/2011 at 08:58 PM