For the past ten days I have been M.I.A. from this site. I apologize for the absence. I have been busy preparing for Christmas guests, and needed to focus on that task. This past weekend my best friend, her husband, and their three children, two of them my godchildren came to visit. It was a wonderful low-key visit, well was low-key as it can be to have five children ages 4-10 and four adults in a 1,200 square foot house. I am so glad we are friends, and have stayed friends for the past 33 years. She is the perfect foil to me, a sunny optimist, and I love her for it.
My sister is also coming on Friday, and I am really looking forward to her visit too. She is taking the red eye in from the West Coast, so will be here in the morning of the 23rd and staying for a week. She has never met our oldest daughter, Bumblebee, before so this will be a very special trip indeed. Both of my girls are very excited to see their aunt.
My little ones, especially my six year old, is bursting at the seams with excitement over the entire Christmas presents over the tree gig. We have been trying to focus on Jesus' birthday, using our special Advent calendar, which chronicles the journey Mary and Joseph made from Nazareth to Bethlehem. The spirit of Christmas can be difficult to find in the bustle and commercialism of the season. However, they both have done a much better job than me.
Over the next several Sundays, I have been sharing my personal journey back to the practice of my faith and full communion with the Catholic Church. How I lost my faith in God, and how through God’s grace and loving care I was able to repair my relationship with God our Father and experience the loving care he has for me in my life.
It was then in my darkest hour when I let go of my plans, and allowed the Lord to direct my life that the answer came. Listen to our Savior’s own agony in Matthew 26: 36-39:
“Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray. “ He took along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to feel sorrow and distress. Then he said to them, “My soul is sorrowful even to death. Remain here and keep watch with Me.” He advanced a little and fell prostrate in prayer, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as I will, but as you will.”
Control versus Surrender.
Although I had a new life in Christ, I was still trying to live life on my own terms. Subconsciously, I thought, I am now doing what I am suppose to be doing, I am going to Church, I was participating in the Sacraments, I have repented and reformed my life. What isn’t God giving me the life that I so desperately want?